Last beach day for a month! Today is packing and finishing off getting the boat ready to leave (mostly due to fear of returning to a sentient fungus) and tomorrow is plane day! The truly crazy thing is it's going to take the family the same amount of time to get to Zurich as to Paris and for me it was faster by 2 hours to fly to Paris AND THEN to Vegas. Why just why? Either way I can't wait for the Badassery Retreat! Yoga, cocktails, community building and champagne masterminds? Yes please. My biz turns a year old, we not only survived a year afloat but are thriving and I made it through year 1 of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. I almost talked myself out of that plane ride but remembering last year I've taken my Sirius Joy app to heart and giving my heart what she wants. And though the plane ride isn't it, the community of women that are going to be there is! If you're not reading @badasserymag you are missing out! 😍💃🏽
Seriously these 2 slay me I love them so much. And as frustrating as it can be to have all of us in a small space (small even for people who are used to small spaces) it does work. It could be improved for sure. But then so can everything. In the wise words of Anais Ninn: "Perfection is static and I'm in full motion" And that applies to everything! It applies to learning to live afloat. It applies to redefining my relationship after going from barely seeing each other for 4 years to never apart each day. And it goes for my business! When I launched Creative Mermaids almost a year ago I didn't have a real vision. I knew that I wanted to keep writing fiction but I also wanted to create books and courses to help other stuck creatives (especially mama writers) to come back to their creative and vibrant selves. Because I had dimmed my light with motherhood. And I wanted to stop others from doing the same – or help them come back from it. I let gratitude cap me instead of catapult me. I always told myself I was so lucky with my kids, I should be grateful for what I had. Docile women are very easy to control – & that includes self control. I didn't trust that wild and creative self I was at my core. I tried to smother her. Thankfully it didn't work. And from intense grief the Creative Mermaids was born! Great things do come from pain. That's what the messy middle is trying to teach you. And you are allowed to make mistakes and be raw and grow from it. And that's why I'm proud to say that although Creative Mermaids is growing and changing and breaking out of it's own messy middle of beginnings, I'm really proud of the work I've done. And that I can with my children and not despite them. And in that vein I have a FANTASTIC International Women's Day announcement tomorrow! So keep your eye out for it! It's taking the initial work and using it for everything I want CM to be: helping you live a radiant and creative life, giving back so that others can have an education and future, and doing it in a way that creates a win win win situation. A win for those who want that radiant life & a win for those who may never otherwise afford It! 😄😄
My mermaid life. Today I woke up with so much joy. I spoke with two of my favourite people on voxer. I wrote for an hour. And as I spent Tuesday mourning my brother's passing, today I found myself in a place to tentatively celebrate his life. It still hurt but it was that messy middle place where pain and joy can coexist. And then I log on to social media and read about this latest shooting tragedy and part of me says to give in to the rage and the pain. But as today is also a new moon solar eclipse, and anger and rage is not what I want to carry with me. Not that there isn't a place for it. Because if I have a choice between apathy and rage I choose the rage. I hope that this polarizes people to look at what is going on in thier country and demand justice (that goes for Canada as well as the States. My stomach lurched and my heart broke for Colten Boushie's family this week). But I need to believe that love is stronger than hate. I do not mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening. Rather, with wide open eyes see where are things are going wrong and say I still choose to love. And in that love I choose to fight for what's right. I will change my life. I will not support this. I will reach out to learn about my privilege and how to use it to raise up others. If in that quest to make things better I stumble or fall and get "called out" I will see it rather as a way to be "called in". I won't run from pain. I will fight my way through it. Because I love this planet more than my own personal discomfort. And I see hurt as a mirror of where I need to heal. The world will heal when we stop seeing it as us versus them. We share it and we can't just write everything off as we're too small to make a difference. That's what the status quo wants you to feel. So long as everyone feels helpless there is no change. And the thing is you CAN only change you. Sure you can fight and rage and plead. And that is so much better than doing nothing. But even better again is saying I choose love & it demands that I make aligned choices. I think of others with my choices. And I change my world. And that can be part of a domino effect.
I love this little video. It is the messy middle for me. It’s also a great example of how easy it is to present a perfectly curated version of your life on social media. If I just took pictures and concentrated on one side of the beach I’d have nothing but drool worthy pictures of living life afloat in the Caribbean. But just 2 feet over (and where my family are watching turtles much on seaweed) there is a storm coming. Same beach. Same freaking moment! It’s the messy middle. People often ask me what I mean by the messy middle and the giant answer is it’s life. But for me it comes down to two major aspects of it. The first is that the shiny caterpillar to butterfly transformation that we are so often fed from TV really glosses over that dissolved into an unrecognizable goo in a cocoon phase. Anytime you need to go through something, you need to become that goo. And that’s the messy middle. More so, way too freaking often we believe it’s our weakness or our inability to do something that is causing the pain. We blame ourselves and we give up. Be it a creative project, a business or life in general that’s kicking our ass. It’s not true. This is where we get to fall apart to get stronger and emerge as the butterfly. That shit isn’t easy. And its not supposed to be. It’s supposed to transform you into something better. And that doesn’t come for free. But the reward is priceless. The other aspect is smaller but always there. And that is there is no perfect! Beautiful beaches get stormed on and you huddle in a hut. My lifestyle has it’s high peaks of awesome but also low valleys of sailing all day to arrive to a swell. Or the fact that even at anchor you feel that you are at sea. Its the messy middle of life. As Anais Ninn said “perfection is static and I’m in full motion” And so is my home. 🤓😜🦄 Although thankfully much less so tonight!