Bliss & Pain In Life

My mermaid life. Today I woke up with so much joy. I spoke with two of my favourite people on voxer. I wrote for an hour. And as I spent Tuesday mourning my brother's passing, today I found myself in a place to tentatively celebrate his life. It still hurt but it was that messy middle place where pain and joy can coexist. And then I log on to social media and read about this latest shooting tragedy and part of me says to give in to the rage and the pain. But as today is also a new moon solar eclipse, and anger and rage is not what I want to carry with me. Not that there isn't a place for it. Because if I have a choice between apathy and rage I choose the rage. I hope that this polarizes people to look at what is going on in thier country and demand justice (that goes for Canada as well as the States. My stomach lurched and my heart broke for Colten Boushie's family this week). But I need to believe that love is stronger than hate. I do not mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening. Rather, with wide open eyes see where are things are going wrong and say I still choose to love. And in that love I choose to fight for what's right. I will change my life. I will not support this. I will reach out to learn about my privilege and how to use it to raise up others. If in that quest to make things better I stumble or fall and get "called out" I will see it rather as a way to be "called in". I won't run from pain. I will fight my way through it. Because I love this planet more than my own personal discomfort. And I see hurt as a mirror of where I need to heal. The world will heal when we stop seeing it as us versus them. We share it and we can't just write everything off as we're too small to make a difference. That's what the status quo wants you to feel. So long as everyone feels helpless there is no change. And the thing is you CAN only change you. Sure you can fight and rage and plead. And that is so much better than doing nothing. But even better again is saying I choose love & it demands that I make aligned choices. I think of others with my choices. And I change my world. And that can be part of a domino effect.

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