Somewhere on The Atlantic Ocean

Dolphins!!!

Things That Go Bump In The Night

We have an anchor station! Even faster and less effort than the videos! (Still putting videos up, but it is freaking slooooow with present internet conditions!)

So check out the station! Its a fun and easy to keep everyone up to date!

https://anchor.fm/books-boats-and-babes?at=565337

And some peektures!

It’s my birthday so I’ll max out the photos just because I want too!!! Today has been fantastic. From an amazing phone call to all the wonderful messages and swimming (with ropes attached!) and turning Falkor into a swing. It’s just been an awesome day. And my heart cracked a bit knowing that this year there would be no roar into the phone of “have a great day sis. I love you. ” (I still got my wishes from Sean, but his are not yelled. 😄😄😄 ) And yet today I do feel Michaels energy is here, it’s just different. Thank you again everyone for all the wonderful wishes!!!! It’s been fantastic! #booksboatsandbabes #boatlife #familyafloat #fulltimecruisers #boatswithdogs #tinyhome #mybirthday #atanchor #bayofbiscay #sailing

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And We Are Still Alive: A Mostly Video Post!

And with some intense highs and lows we are really figuring this out. Which is good for Patrick as he is never as happy as when the sail is out!

A video log book update from our 3 months in point!

And then the Em to the Jays point of view!

All in all there are worse ways to live!

How To Convert A Reluctant Sailor To An Enthusiastic One

Part of me says this entire post can be shrunk down to one sentence “Respect the very real fear of the other person.” But too often we do not see the other’s persons fear as rational and therefore we downplay it. NOT a good idea. Because this is the thing:

Fear Is NOT Rational

If fear was rational I could explain keeling away very simply with physics. But sorry, it very much feels like flip over and die and that overrides everything else. I hit the blind panic button and become engulfed in, well er hmm, blind panic.

You can not explain it away. And if you can not explain it away then let me assure you, brushing my fears aside as not worthy will get you a punch in the head. At least once we are safely back on shore that is. Until then I will just alternate between rocking and moaning and screaming at you that you are an idiot for ever taking me out in a boat!

And by you I mean Patrick, and that was a pretty neat summary of our first attempts at sailing.

Patrick is nothing if not persistent. It is the only way he ever got me to step onto Falkor. Because our experience with the Pinguin was mostly of “flip over and die” as we rushed to sail in our limited time off.  Patrick knew we were safe and so he would take us out in conditions that I quickly learned were not suitable for a newbie sailor terrified of the ocean. (We we;re also battling the number one enemy of any enjoyable trip: lack of time and a desire to see all the things rather than let it just unfold. Not good!)

In fairness, both of the above behaviors are not cool. Me yelling abuse at Patrick does not help any more than him ignoring my very real fears . So it matters not salty sailors if you know it is safe. If you want your reluctant sailor to become a more enthusiastic one then take them out only in fantastic conditions at first. Because chances are they will still be freaked out. Don’t let them associate your love of sailing with battling the elements.

The wind was howling and those waves were rocking the boat. Did it matter we were on a man made lake in the Netherlands and Falkor can handle much more? Absolutely not!

In our case, as I said, Patrick just walks through walls. It took him 4 years to get me to fully commit, and even then it was more of “let’s see how goes on the way to Amsterdam and I am pretty sure I can promise to Portugal.”

The big change is that now we almost always only sail in good weather, and since Amsterdam it is our hard and fast rule. (Before then we still had time constraints so we needed to sail even if the weather was less than stellar. Which for the first month it was not!)

The thing is, with time you do learn that the difference between fear and danger is real and you get a much better feel for what is actually worthy of your fear and not. But this takes time. No matter if it is writing and publishing a book, moving to a new country for the first time, or getting used to the movement of a boat. And patience is how you move along your fears.

And eventually, it just becomes nervous laughter.

And the other day we had crazy swell in our anchorage that didn’t bother me at all! Other than to have to sit in the cockpit for a bit.  Watch our neighbour rock:

 

Now if we could just get Mango to feel the same way!

 

 

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