We are doing it! Falkor is for sale and we have bought a bigger boat!
When we set out on this adventure Patrick wanted to sail around the world and I promised as far as Amsterdam. Then Portugal. Then the Caribbean.
Now I am ready to say let’s keep going for the next 5 -10 years. Falkor was amazing and if it wasn’t for the fact that I felt so safe on him we would never have been able to come this far. However, we bought him thinking he was the boat that would be our home for 2 – 3 years. Or maybe just a couple of months if I completely freaked out and couldn’t handle sailing. Crashing motorcycles was so much less scary than being out on the ocean.
But there is a big difference between fear and danger. And I will always love that Falkor helped teach me that.
But he was never meant for us to live on long-term as a family. And we had a lot of thinking to do this year. I had fallen in love with cruising, but I needed a bigger boat with two small children who were getting bigger and bigger. Given the choice between returning to Europe and keeping Falkor for summer vacations around the Baltics, or selling him and sailing onwards with a bigger boat, Patrick chose the bigger boat.
Part of me says this entire post can be shrunk down to one sentence “Respect the very real fear of the other person.” But too often we do not see the other’s persons fear as rational and therefore we downplay it. NOT a good idea. Because this is the thing:
Fear Is NOT Rational
If fear was rational I could explain keeling away very simply with physics. But sorry, it very much feels like flip over and die and that overrides everything else. I hit the blind panic button and become engulfed in, well er hmm, blind panic.
You can not explain it away. And if you can not explain it away then let me assure you, brushing my fears aside as not worthy will get you a punch in the head. At least once we are safely back on shore that is. Until then I will just alternate between rocking and moaning and screaming at you that you are an idiot for ever taking me out in a boat!
And by you I mean Patrick, and that was a pretty neat summary of our first attempts at sailing.
Patrick is nothing if not persistent. It is the only way he ever got me to step onto Falkor. Because our experience with the Pinguin was mostly of “flip over and die” as we rushed to sail in our limited time off. Patrick knew we were safe and so he would take us out in conditions that I quickly learned were not suitable for a newbie sailor terrified of the ocean. (We we;re also battling the number one enemy of any enjoyable trip: lack of time and a desire to see all the things rather than let it just unfold. Not good!)
In fairness, both of the above behaviors are not cool. Me yelling abuse at Patrick does not help any more than him ignoring my very real fears . So it matters not salty sailors if you know it is safe. If you want your reluctant sailor to become a more enthusiastic one then take them out only in fantastic conditions at first. Because chances are they will still be freaked out. Don’t let them associate your love of sailing with battling the elements.
The wind was howling and those waves were rocking the boat. Did it matter we were on a man made lake in the Netherlands and Falkor can handle much more? Absolutely not!
In our case, as I said, Patrick just walks through walls. It took him 4 years to get me to fully commit, and even then it was more of “let’s see how goes on the way to Amsterdam and I am pretty sure I can promise to Portugal.”
The big change is that now we almost always only sail in good weather, and since Amsterdam it is our hard and fast rule. (Before then we still had time constraints so we needed to sail even if the weather was less than stellar. Which for the first month it was not!)
The thing is, with time you do learn that the difference between fear and danger is real and you get a much better feel for what is actually worthy of your fear and not. But this takes time. No matter if it is writing and publishing a book, moving to a new country for the first time, or getting used to the movement of a boat. And patience is how you move along your fears.
And eventually, it just becomes nervous laughter.
And the other day we had crazy swell in our anchorage that didn’t bother me at all! Other than to have to sit in the cockpit for a bit. Watch our neighbour rock:
Now if we could just get Mango to feel the same way!
Getting ready to cast off is always nervewrecking. I think a lot of people don’t appreciate that I’m always nervous before I go on any trip. There is always a moment before I step out the door where I can’t help but wonder if I’m crazy.
In the end the desire to go beats the one to stay. After all it’s like jumping off something. Just push through that moment of hesitation and then you are free falling!
Only with sailing its not nearly so cut and dry. You can turn back and it all happens so slowly!
But leave we did. And sorry for the whipping around. It takes more practice than I appreciated at first.
You have to love how even Patrick uses “probably” in reference to how long before we will see the marina again.
It was a beautiful start. And even peaceful. It was a great feeling of starting a new adventure that you had planned for years but were not really sure you wanted to do. At least for me. Patrick never doubted. Even when I was ready to pull the plug before we even began.
This peaceful moment didn’t last terribly long. The motor woke Mr. Man up before the coffee was poured. And yet he was so cute that we didn’t mind. Especially since he knows there are two captains. 😄
Two posts in one day! There is a first for everything! 😉 But given the nature of the last post I wanted to show you how I envision going forward. These videos are from before I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but you get the idea! 😉
And anyway, if you want to move onto a boat you might want to watch these videos anyway. I want to show the good the bad and the ugly. And taking an apartment, even one that you knew was never meant to be a full home and was more a place to sleep until you were ready to go on a trip, is a challenge.
See first you start with full-fledged optimism. Much like any adventure, you think you can handle anything that is tossed at your head.
Then after an initial period of refusing to see the flaws you slowly realize that you need to remove the rose colored glasses and assess the situation. It may cause a little panic but you still have your head up:
And then you realize that like anything, one thing is not better than another, just different. And something to really remember if you are planning to move onto a boat. Or start any adventure. It is not a holiday. It is life.
But as you can tell from that video, I had wanted to try and do some kind of video diary for awhile. I just had no idea how I was going to do it. Well this is it! A mix of short video with stand alone commentary!
And hopefully, with practice, they get less awkward and more integrated. But as I work on Creative Mermaids I realize it is helping me just as much as I want to help others! That is the best kind of karma!
And this is one of my favorite shots from that week, because getting my family to become a family again after the craziness of start up life is also something that I was afraid would not happen and it in fact is. I love these guys so much!
The good news! I finally figured out what I want to do with the idea of Books Boats and Babes videos! I have been asked by a lot of people about doing videos. And I have played with the idea for a long time. Those on the mailing list have received all of two, but I have been taking video. The idea though of doing all the cutting is horrific. Even ignoring the learning curve involved, once I was able to do relatively good video it would still eat up all kinds of time. And it is not that I do not want to do anything productive on this trip. BUT when I am not spending time with my family and enjoying the actual trip I want to spend my work time writing or working on Creative Mermaids. Yet Books, Boats and Babes calls to me too! This is my life now. How do I include you guys? Other than pictures like these that is:
But I want to tell the story as well. And I do want to write books about this trip, after all I am a writer first. Although all my motorcycle travel books I wrote after I returned. I had the narrative complete. I just had to write it. I am even thinking about writing shorter, magazine style stories up on Kindle Unlimited to help combat that, but that doesn’t help me share my story as I go.
And then I took a podcast course from the Visibility Vixen herself Michelle Lewis. And I loved it and I realized that I could do a video style podcast, or vodcast. And so I did an intro yesterday, and the plan is to do more videos where myself and Patrick talk to the camera to talk about our trip, I can also talk more about Creative Mermaids on there, and I can supplement it with pictures and short videos over here.
Michelle tells you to be much more polished guys, all these mistakes are mine. But I am just excited that I am finally committing to actually doing video and being visible, and finding a mixed media combination that I am comfortable with and that I will actually do!
And let the rambling eventually end: