I will admit, one of my bigger fears with sailing with kids (aside from the increased daily risk of drowning) was what to do with my monkeys. I mean I love them madly but how does that work out without Kita????? (German daycare if you are not familiar with the term!)
The mama writer conflict: I want you near me at all times but if you are not quiet and I can not write I will go insane.
And this brings us into the ultimate conflict for a mama who needs to write.
My morning journaling has become if you can’t beat them then let them join in. But that is 10 minutes with The Desire Map Panner. That is not sitting down to write. How can I write when someone is constantly asking me to look at a drawing they did? For that matter how would I do any of the multitude projects I have planned for the Creative Mermaids? How could I just generally keep my sanity?
I learned the hard way the past 4 years that as much as I want to be the mom who is armed with snacks in one hand and age appropriate crafts in the other, I am not that person! (It is also why I stick my kids in so many courses. I don’t mind watching them do their projects. I just have no desire to do the planning for or cleaning up afterward.)
For me, I need writing time. The occasional Yoga class tossed in makes me a much happier mama. How is that working out on the boat?
In the end to comes down to: with daddy’s help.
The gatekeeper when I can not get off the boat to write:
I can not write with the kids in my direct vicinity. They want my attention. I want to write. Both deserve to be treated with respect. And both are in direct conflict with each other. And so that is where Patrick’s support comes in. I need him to be onboard with me taking 2 – 3 hours a day to write. Preferably in a cafe, but even if not then he occupies the kids on another part of the boat while I either hide in the back if the weather is crappy or outside if it is nice!
And this is working out lovely. We have come a long way from this video, when we had time constraints and we were doing more motoring and moving than slowing down. And although there are still moments when it hits me in the guts that I have only one brother now, the getting out to write is healing. Making the time to both write as well as only sail in good conditions is making me a calmer and happier sailor. As does standing firm on what mommy needs. And amazingly when I say I need this I get it. Saying “it would be nice” to have writing time results in no writing time. Saying “I need this” makes it happen!
Also, I am aware the still shot of this video is less than ideal. Thank you Vivienne McMaster and your amazing Body Peace program for helping me come to terms with the camera. Not an affiliate link, just a shot out to an amazing woman and program!
The other lovely part, although I always love my kids, I am so much happier around them once I have written.
And that is the part that makes sailing with small children ok! We are learning what we need and then we work together to make it happen. Then I have the energy to give my kids the attention they deserve, rather than feeling trapped in a small space with them non stop, I get to enjoy my time with them and be grateful I can. And look at these guys, they are so adorable! They deserve a happy mommy! And I deserve a life with writing and children in it.
Still setting it up, but it is coming more and more together!
The good news! I finally figured out what I want to do with the idea of Books Boats and Babes videos! I have been asked by a lot of people about doing videos. And I have played with the idea for a long time. Those on the mailing list have received all of two, but I have been taking video. The idea though of doing all the cutting is horrific. Even ignoring the learning curve involved, once I was able to do relatively good video it would still eat up all kinds of time. And it is not that I do not want to do anything productive on this trip. BUT when I am not spending time with my family and enjoying the actual trip I want to spend my work time writing or working on Creative Mermaids. Yet Books, Boats and Babes calls to me too! This is my life now. How do I include you guys? Other than pictures like these that is:
But I want to tell the story as well. And I do want to write books about this trip, after all I am a writer first. Although all my motorcycle travel books I wrote after I returned. I had the narrative complete. I just had to write it. I am even thinking about writing shorter, magazine style stories up on Kindle Unlimited to help combat that, but that doesn’t help me share my story as I go.
And then I took a podcast course from the Visibility Vixen herself Michelle Lewis. And I loved it and I realized that I could do a video style podcast, or vodcast. And so I did an intro yesterday, and the plan is to do more videos where myself and Patrick talk to the camera to talk about our trip, I can also talk more about Creative Mermaids on there, and I can supplement it with pictures and short videos over here.
Michelle tells you to be much more polished guys, all these mistakes are mine. But I am just excited that I am finally committing to actually doing video and being visible, and finding a mixed media combination that I am comfortable with and that I will actually do!
And let the rambling eventually end: