Writing Amongst The fear

#thursdaythrowback The cover of Shiny Side up was taken just outside Capadochia Turkey. The next day I wiped out on gravel & lost half my knee cap. But I'm feeling pleased as punch to have ridden to the top of a sandy hill right there. Writing that book taught me so much about what it is to be an author. (And yes sometimes being a creative means feeling like you've let a lot of blood & even parts of your body on the side of the road. But it's less dangerous. It just feels the opposite 😜). When I first started publishing my writing it was in the early stages of Indy publishing. I had begun to listen to The Creative Penn and the fact that I could just click upload and my book would be on freaking Amazon was mind blowing. And so I began to tentatively venture forth into the publishing world. One of my dreams was to write a book in Thailand. I still remember that feeling of sitting outside our hut & finishing Iceland: A Stormy Motorcycle Journey. There are a lot of mistakes in that book. (I didn't properly edit it) but it dominated the Iceland list for months, staying at number 1. There I learned about best seller lists. You can sell 3 copies & still be number 1. Because no one is buying. I learned about bad reviews (1 guy complained it read like a bad vacation. Which confused me because I LOVED Iceland but we had a lot of bad weather. Hence the stormy in the title. And we did end up in hospital for a couple of days). I also learned about people who instead of reviews send you direct emails telling you how much they loved your book & you captured their homeland so perfectly they are both homesick and inspired to do their own journey. And you realize not everyone will get you. Even the perfectly edited book. But those that do understand & connect on an entirely different level. And that keeps you going. Eventually one day (& multiple times throughout your career as you keep learning) you realize that being able to make a living writing is an amazing gift you can give yourself if you just LET yourself have it. If you're called Write. Let the readers decide if it's good. Learn from that. Improve. But don't stay locked in a cage of fear.

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Fear and Cages

It’s true that the first time I took the dinghy by myself was in Martinique. As in almost a full year into the trip. 😅😅😅 And it’s also true that not being able to confidently handle a dinghy meant I was in my own kind of cage on the boat. So I get how scary it can feel to go out by yourself. And also how we stay small (& trapped) by thinking about all the ways things can go wrong when we step away from the safety of our cage. And yet we defeat ourselves with false problems. For me and the dinghy I was convinced I was going to be flipped by a wave or sucked out to sea. (Easily avoided by staying on the boat in a storm and simply making sure your battery is full. Most drama is a non theme outside of your head). And the truth is we do things in steps. We are talking ourselves out of the big events when in truth we are not even facing them! We’re terrified people will laugh at our book so we never write it. When actually someone laughing at your book means they read it!!! The impossible happened! They found your book in a sea of books and not only bought but proceeded to read it. (Do you have any idea how many books I have that I will never read???) But more importantly it means you finished it. And then those who will like it can also find it. For me yesterday was the longest crossing with the dinghy by myself. I had to cross over the channel where the big boats go. I was nervous but I did it! Then today I did it again! And on the way back one of those freaking high speed ferries was coming in. And I just turned around. Admittedly my first thought was “how do I time this so I don’t DIE???” And then it hit me. I don’t have to try. I did some circles outside the canal, snapped my pic with it, and made it back alive to my family who were rocking out in my absence. Not ready for the jump? Don’t do it!! But don’t let that stop you from all the steps up to that point. Don’t let fear of what might happen someday stop you from what you can do now today. And when you get there, if you’re still not ready, you can work on it then! Hire a coach or find out if it is really what you want to do. But live. Today. Not in fear of unknown futures!

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Are We Ready For A Week Long Sail As A Family?

1 Year Afloat & A Month Long Visit To Europe Planned!

Last beach day for a month! Today is packing and finishing off getting the boat ready to leave (mostly due to fear of returning to a sentient fungus) and tomorrow is plane day! The truly crazy thing is it's going to take the family the same amount of time to get to Zurich as to Paris and for me it was faster by 2 hours to fly to Paris AND THEN to Vegas. Why just why? Either way I can't wait for the Badassery Retreat! Yoga, cocktails, community building and champagne masterminds? Yes please. My biz turns a year old, we not only survived a year afloat but are thriving and I made it through year 1 of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. I almost talked myself out of that plane ride but remembering last year I've taken my Sirius Joy app to heart and giving my heart what she wants. And though the plane ride isn't it, the community of women that are going to be there is! If you're not reading @badasserymag you are missing out! 😍💃🏽

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Sailing With Children: A Photo Post

Any given day could like this when you are full time cruisers with kids!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/40347580174/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/39000112040/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/26183931247/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/39017947080/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/39245810070/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/38942388900/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/41035642081/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/26164432087/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/25762346048/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/39603852672/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/26787055718/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gypsyprincess/26163518797/

Creative Mermaids

Seriously these 2 slay me I love them so much. And as frustrating as it can be to have all of us in a small space (small even for people who are used to small spaces) it does work. It could be improved for sure. But then so can everything. In the wise words of Anais Ninn: "Perfection is static and I'm in full motion" And that applies to everything! It applies to learning to live afloat. It applies to redefining my relationship after going from barely seeing each other for 4 years to never apart each day. And it goes for my business! When I launched Creative Mermaids almost a year ago I didn't have a real vision. I knew that I wanted to keep writing fiction but I also wanted to create books and courses to help other stuck creatives (especially mama writers) to come back to their creative and vibrant selves. Because I had dimmed my light with motherhood. And I wanted to stop others from doing the same – or help them come back from it. I let gratitude cap me instead of catapult me. I always told myself I was so lucky with my kids, I should be grateful for what I had. Docile women are very easy to control – & that includes self control. I didn't trust that wild and creative self I was at my core. I tried to smother her. Thankfully it didn't work. And from intense grief the Creative Mermaids was born! Great things do come from pain. That's what the messy middle is trying to teach you. And you are allowed to make mistakes and be raw and grow from it. And that's why I'm proud to say that although Creative Mermaids is growing and changing and breaking out of it's own messy middle of beginnings, I'm really proud of the work I've done. And that I can with my children and not despite them. And in that vein I have a FANTASTIC International Women's Day announcement tomorrow! So keep your eye out for it! It's taking the initial work and using it for everything I want CM to be: helping you live a radiant and creative life, giving back so that others can have an education and future, and doing it in a way that creates a win win win situation. A win for those who want that radiant life & a win for those who may never otherwise afford It! 😄😄

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Bliss & Pain In Life

My mermaid life. Today I woke up with so much joy. I spoke with two of my favourite people on voxer. I wrote for an hour. And as I spent Tuesday mourning my brother's passing, today I found myself in a place to tentatively celebrate his life. It still hurt but it was that messy middle place where pain and joy can coexist. And then I log on to social media and read about this latest shooting tragedy and part of me says to give in to the rage and the pain. But as today is also a new moon solar eclipse, and anger and rage is not what I want to carry with me. Not that there isn't a place for it. Because if I have a choice between apathy and rage I choose the rage. I hope that this polarizes people to look at what is going on in thier country and demand justice (that goes for Canada as well as the States. My stomach lurched and my heart broke for Colten Boushie's family this week). But I need to believe that love is stronger than hate. I do not mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening. Rather, with wide open eyes see where are things are going wrong and say I still choose to love. And in that love I choose to fight for what's right. I will change my life. I will not support this. I will reach out to learn about my privilege and how to use it to raise up others. If in that quest to make things better I stumble or fall and get "called out" I will see it rather as a way to be "called in". I won't run from pain. I will fight my way through it. Because I love this planet more than my own personal discomfort. And I see hurt as a mirror of where I need to heal. The world will heal when we stop seeing it as us versus them. We share it and we can't just write everything off as we're too small to make a difference. That's what the status quo wants you to feel. So long as everyone feels helpless there is no change. And the thing is you CAN only change you. Sure you can fight and rage and plead. And that is so much better than doing nothing. But even better again is saying I choose love & it demands that I make aligned choices. I think of others with my choices. And I change my world. And that can be part of a domino effect.

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